Faith. Hope. Love.

Dear blog,

In the month of July, two of my close family left me. My beloved grandma and my ever eccentric brother whom I love dearly. It hits me so bad that almost every single day I would cry because I know I will never talk, quarrel, laugh, sit close to one another and yet quietly doing our own things together again. To me, family is my everything. I would fight till my last breath for anyone who are consider as my family. Everything in life seems like it doesn't matter anymore. People around me tells me that my life should goes on, the world will not stop moving because someone is dead but to me, the world stops. I defer my exams, I have to even quit my job which I just started. My world crashes. I even wish and hope that I could be a replacement of their death. Because being alive and seeing them go just hurt so bad. I understand it's common for people to act like this so I know I'm still okay. I misses them even till now and I know it will last till the last day of my life on earth. Ofcos, this will adds on. As I know death is part and parcel of life now. One must go through it to understand it fully.

Now, after a few months of griefs. I'm picking my bits and pieces of me. Gathering my thoughts and note it down on this blog today. Today, first day of September 2013, Sunday. I am officially on a journey of understanding the meaning of faith, hope and love. I have no idea why I need to know them but it somewhat miraculously lead me to these three words on YouTube and it somehow makes me feel so much calmer. I believe it will change my perception of loss of something dear to my heart. Maybe it wasn't so bad afterall.

Life is amazing. It is amazing what a person can do in their lifetime, who they will meet and where they are born, when things happen and how it will affect them. You can't reason with life. You can't change it. You can only live it! I'll live life and love life for what it may brings. I pray only for the strongest faith, endless hope and greatest love for me to move forward, to do better things in life. For my grandma and my brother. They will always be part of me and I'll remember them eternally. I love u and that will never change no matter what happens/happened. Rest in peace and I'll see you again when it's my time is up. For now, I'll need to buck up and continue what I should be doing and will be doing.

lots of memories and love,
Vivian