Faith. Hope. Love.

Dear blog,

In the month of July, two of my close family left me. My beloved grandma and my ever eccentric brother whom I love dearly. It hits me so bad that almost every single day I would cry because I know I will never talk, quarrel, laugh, sit close to one another and yet quietly doing our own things together again. To me, family is my everything. I would fight till my last breath for anyone who are consider as my family. Everything in life seems like it doesn't matter anymore. People around me tells me that my life should goes on, the world will not stop moving because someone is dead but to me, the world stops. I defer my exams, I have to even quit my job which I just started. My world crashes. I even wish and hope that I could be a replacement of their death. Because being alive and seeing them go just hurt so bad. I understand it's common for people to act like this so I know I'm still okay. I misses them even till now and I know it will last till the last day of my life on earth. Ofcos, this will adds on. As I know death is part and parcel of life now. One must go through it to understand it fully.

Now, after a few months of griefs. I'm picking my bits and pieces of me. Gathering my thoughts and note it down on this blog today. Today, first day of September 2013, Sunday. I am officially on a journey of understanding the meaning of faith, hope and love. I have no idea why I need to know them but it somewhat miraculously lead me to these three words on YouTube and it somehow makes me feel so much calmer. I believe it will change my perception of loss of something dear to my heart. Maybe it wasn't so bad afterall.

Life is amazing. It is amazing what a person can do in their lifetime, who they will meet and where they are born, when things happen and how it will affect them. You can't reason with life. You can't change it. You can only live it! I'll live life and love life for what it may brings. I pray only for the strongest faith, endless hope and greatest love for me to move forward, to do better things in life. For my grandma and my brother. They will always be part of me and I'll remember them eternally. I love u and that will never change no matter what happens/happened. Rest in peace and I'll see you again when it's my time is up. For now, I'll need to buck up and continue what I should be doing and will be doing.

lots of memories and love,
Vivian

Fighting for the love of my life!

I'm back as a fighter. Fighting for the love of my life!

Three year ago, a guy (W) text-ed me on a social website that my friend asked me to join. As I was grieving over my ex boyfriend for about 5 years, going through the 5 stages of grieve: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance (Gosh... that is actually one stage per year!). Okay, back to this guy. W was text-ing me and I choose to brush him off every time he text. I have never really bother to reply his messages. During that time, I was never willing to let go of my past to welcome new things. Ignorance is bliss so as to say. It is bull-crap! Ignorance makes me wasted three whole year of grieving for nothing!

Every time, I pray for right person to come into my life. God is awesome. He heard and he answered, but I did not 'accept' the offer. After all these years, I finally finished my last stage of grieve, Acceptance. I text-ed W as he text-ed again. We started text-ing. One fine night, I decided to meet him so I asked him out and he said okay. The night was amazing. I told him, why didn't I reply to him much three years back? Am plain stupid. He is there. Super awesome guy. He is awesome not because he has beautiful eyes, he sings very well, he has a great sense of humor, nor he likes things that I like. He is awesome because when I was with him. I feel home.

I told him how I feel. He did not really reciprocate. However, I am willing to spend my next 3 years of my precious life to wait for him. I am willing to love him unconditionally. He is the man that I love and I will love him endlessly. I will wait.


Unconditioned love,

Vivian 维维安

My World

It has been awhile… to come by to share happiness.


I always wanted my world to be colorful and sweet.

Like these few things below, this is how I want my world to be.



M&Ms – Melt in your mouth, not in your hands



Cotton Candy – Fluffy

Marshmallow – Chewy

Jellybeans – Bubbly

To conclude, I should


1. Smile always


2. Cushion who are dear to me


3. Love myself before love others


4. Do not take things too hard


5. When shit happens, don’t fret it… It’s not the end of the world!

Xoxo,
Happy : Viv

Hi, Happily ever after. I'm back again after such a long while...

It has been the longest while since I last blogged about happy things in life. It's not like I do not have any happy things to blog but I have been busy, busy, busy. In fact, contradictorily I had many happy moments in between these period. I regret not blogging it down, but... why bother? Ha...

Top three happy updates are as below:

1. I scored B and B for Marketing and HRM, respectively.

2. I got myself a job at CapitaLand as an admin asst (Grade 4, they have levels for everything like RPG! Their admin asst starts with Grade 1 and ends with Grade 6. Thereafter, it's executive level and that is where I aim to be in 3 years time!)

3. Fulfilled my childhood dream as a teacher (not exactly to be a full time one, but a relief for 1 week) It was fun and I really missed those kids.

So there it is... my super summarized updates. Yes, I know... There is more things happened in almost a year that I've not been active. However, I do not wish to waste that much of brain cell cracking my small, fragile brain to think. Life's good when you do not stress yourself with small little issues like that, isn't it? =)

Yesterday, I went to Swenson to meet up with Xingjuan, Corin, Irene (and her daughter), Xueni, Pearlyn (Xingjuan's sister) and Pearlyn's daughter for brain-storming session for Xingjuan's big day (Wedding on 01.01.11)! It was fun... and happy for her. Finally, she met her wonderful husband-to-be. I love weddings. It's the best thing on earth to bind two person (in love) together... forever.

I have more to tell but the clock now is 7pm and my show (爱) is starting now! bye for now and I'll be back real soon!

xoxoXOxoxo (hug, kiss, hug, kiss, big hug, big kiss, hug, kiss, hug, kiss) ^_^

Happy : Viv

Laughing Out Loud

Today, I went for my orientation for my DipBA. There is only one word to describe it. Boring! I was yawning away... but I stayed thru' the whole damn thing! (not that I wanted it thou') Anyway, after the boring 1 hr. I met up with Cyn planning to catch a movie. After browsing on the available show screen, we decide on The Proposal. We got our tickets and I initiated that I need something to eat. I'm starving! Gosh... and we settled down at KFC. I had a two piece chicken meal and surprisingly they had this "MUG" brand root-beer! Nice... After that we went to grab our movie-snacks! We bought chips and Welch's Grape Drink (1st time trying and I actually like it!) Suddenly, I asked: "Cyn, where is our movie tickets?" and Cyn was looking for it in her purse. She kept looking but it is not there. We head back to KFC (where I had my dinner which I've mentioned earlier) and I saw it underneath one of this leg of a chair. Phew, I thought that's it. Gone with the wind. However, there is always hope! Ah... with the tickets found we head back to the cinema.

When we got there... We found our seats but it was taken by a couple. (blonde, both) Cyn, being nice, told them it's okay to have our seats and we move one row in-front of them. Comfortably adjusting to our new seats. We start to "crap and laugh", "crap and laugh" some more and crap and laugh before the movie starts. The male blonde lean over and nicely said, "Can you both not talk anymore as we are trying to watch a movie here." I replied, "Yes, sure!" Obviously, it was not so okay at all. However, trying to be nice as a Singaporean, I stopped talking and the movie starts... Initially, I was boiled, blood boiling. Hundred Degree Celsius, but eventually... I sorta more focus on the movie and I started giggling. Here and there... Cyn too! Too bad to the couple, before we knew it, we were laughing so loudly! Laughing and laughing so hard. I was hilarious! Granny Annie was one of the best, never missed out Sandra Bullock. She has got this X-factor, comedian in disguise. I mean, she looks hot. I bet no one could deny that and still she can be that funny. Before I realised it, we were laughing non-stop. Suddenly, I was thinking... the couple must be damn pissed by now. I was happy back then.

We had a good laugh and the show ended. Took a cab home and now, I'm going to bed cos' tomorrow I got to go to work and stay back for overtime.

God bless the couple. ^^


Happy : Viv

Spontaneous

Heard about a promotion Jetstar is having today from my colleague and quickly I logged on to see what's the promo about. Called Cyn not long later and asked whether she's interested in the deal and she gives her approval on that note too! Therefore, I proceed with the booking the tickets online... and... yes, it's booked. April 18-20, 2010. You do not really have to double check the year of the tickets I've booked. It's April 2010. Hahaha... It was fun. Buying something on impulse and not regretting it till... now. Great... It was a fun thing to do! I love it. Awesome... I am sure sometimes things do not need to be "in order" like what it should be... but definitely I do not wish to be too far away from that. Oh well... but it's definitely a happy thing to share that I will be on holiday next year! LoLx

Another happy thing is that my oversea purchase is here!!! ^-^ My new Flipflop and my hoodie. Woohoo!!!~ I'll collect it from Cyn tomorrow. Great. Simply can't wait. I'll go and sleep now and so it will come earlier!

Ciaoz... ^^


Happy : Viv

UP

Cynthia (Cyn for short); my ex-school-mate cum bestie was complaining that I am too slack and not been updating my blog. Therefore, by not wasting time. I do it during my free time @ work... Shh... it's a secret. ^^

I've watched "UP" with Cyn yesterday. It was really touching. I cried a bit... (I cried just a bit cos' I remembered I do not have enough tissue to wipe off my tears and I do not want to disturb Cyn to get tissue from her also) So, I am doing my best not to cry like a baby. No doubt I was really touched by the love story of Carl Fredicksen and Ellie. They met since they were a kid and they both love adventure, but one's a boring kid (Carl Fredricksen) and the other's a hyper-active kid (Ellie)! What a pair! Okay... I know, you wanted to remind me it was a fiction movie, yeah? However, CAN'T YOU JUST LOOK UP MY BLOG TITLE, it says "Happily Ever After"! Dumbo! Here's a place for everybody to escape from everyday realistic thoughts! Just try to be a little imaginative and continue reading and thank you very much for doing so... ^-^

I always wanted a companion like Carl Fredricksen. Ofcos' not as boring as him but as sweet as him. I like the scene that show them both lying together on a hill-top watching lots of fluffy white clouds. Imagine shapes of animals and eventually babies out of the moving clouds (Lots of it!)... Haha... It's the "fun-est" thing ever! I knew that cos' I used to do that when I was little. Like in primary school days... I did not tell anyone I did that back then cos' I find it rather embarassing. My friends will laugh at me. I'll do it while I'm waiting for a bus home at the bus-stop after school and sometimes when I walked my dog around my house. Ahh... I miss doing that so much!!! I do hope I have the time just lying down, somewhere quiet, and just look at the clear sky with lotsa clouds and simply relax. Just doing nothing at all. Just by thinking of it, I'm actually lovin' the idea already! ^-^

That's all for now... back to my daily routine and wait for another 2 hours, I'll be heading home! This is the best part of the day... heading home... =D


Happy : Vivian